He laughs, hearing the thought ring in his brain. He needs to get in on this app at the ground level if he has any shot at raising a family with Dany.
Again: The dragons could have solved this whole thing … immediately!!!! Dany and Jon speak for only the second time in the entire episode: “Bran!” says Jon. Meanwhile, Dany saves Jon at the last minute by breathing fire onto the fresh wights around him. “I can’t let you through without your express agreement to our terms.” “Everything we do here is top-secret,” says Theon. Back in Bran’s office, Theon refuses to let the wights get through security without signing an NDA. In a turn of events none of us could ever have predicted, a wight breaks out of its tomb down in the crypt. They smile at each other, then remember they’re supposed to be mad. Check in.” Dany and Jon both say, “Shut up!!” at the same time, cutely, like the Olsen twins.
“It’s important, when riding your lover’s son into battle, that you remember to stay in touch with each other. They spend several scenes passive-aggressively riding dragons near each other, refusing to admit they are having a fun time, like a married couple having a tiff on an expensive vacation. “I forgot I am not supposed to sigh in this outfit,” she sputters.īack upstairs, Jon and Dany’s dragons bonk into each other, because nobody thought about making up little hand signals for dragon-riding or about coming up with snow precautions in a town literally called Winterfell. Sansa lets out a sigh of relief, but then begins to choke. “I absolutely love that domme outfit,” he says. They have already formed a little rude clique, the Crypt People. Sansa, still in her domme outfit, heads down to the crypt. Arya directs Sansa, who is deep in the throes of incestuous lust/the sort of petty jealousy only ascribed to women on this show and is now copying Dany’s hair, to the crypt. But because things weren’t annoying enough from a visibility standpoint, a snowstorm begins. Even though Dany and Jon cannot look at one another, they simultaneously instruct the dragons to alight the wights below. About 40,000 deaths too late, but we’ll take it.
#Game of thrones season 8 episode 1 memes series
However, when you already light your television series like an underused suburban garage during a tornado, you do not have the luxury of disorienting your viewers further.Īnyway, finally, the dragons show up. “Let’s disorient the viewers so they feel just as disoriented as our characters,” Amanda Peet’s husband probably said, eating a bowl of plain caviar. Everyone is moving about 15 times faster than they normally do, I think in an attempt to partially obscure the action, so things are even more “disturbing” than they’d be if we could see what was going on. I think the directors were going for an apocalyptic-survival-horror, 28 Days Later–type vibe, but achieved more of a “very muddy clothes being tossed around in a washing machine” vibe. Here is where things become truly incomprehensible, visually.
Now would be a great time to make other war plans with tiles, maybe? Instead, they sit and wait until they are attacked by the indiscriminate horde. I am going to attempt to recap the battle scenes below, but please know that I, like you, am looking at them through what is essentially a flooded underground tunnel.Įveryone is just standing around, watching their co-workers get violently slayed. Seventy percent of this episode was lit like the inside of a human mouth. The other people who did not seem prepared? Amanda Peet’s husband and everyone who works for him. Despite everyone spending all of that time moving all of those tiles around last week, the battle plan seemed to be: “Yeah, we’ll see what happens! See you out there! Gonna go grill out with the family tonight and we’ll catch you tomorrow.” Everybody showed up at the battle and seemed to be really winging it. As viewers, we’ve had eight years to prepare for this the Game of Thrones characters have had, hm, centuries? (I can’t speak to the timeline on Game of Thrones as Cersei’s hair has not grown in what appears to be years and Sam’s child is perpetually a baby.) However, somehow, we viewers were more prepared for this battle than the characters themselves. The third episode of the final season of Game of Thrones was billed, many times over, as the “longest battle scene in history.” In other words, shit was going to go down, for a very long time.
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